I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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