Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
