id be glad to
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
