I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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