The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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