I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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