In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
