so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
