beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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