My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
