There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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