Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
