her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
