saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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