Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
