Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
