I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
