Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
