I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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