Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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