i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
