I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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