On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
