When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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