he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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