watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
