Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
