Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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