You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
