mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
