But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
