but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
