your room smells of hookers.
And success
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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