thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
