What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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