Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
