So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
