Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
