Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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