Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
