i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
