at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
