I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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