My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
