Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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