Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My dick has a subreddit
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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