Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
