I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
