She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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