Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
