wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
