Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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