imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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