i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
