Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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