Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
