They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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