oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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