We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I would fuck him just for his dog
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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