I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
