you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
