Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
