dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
