id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
