I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
