Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Shame - the story of my life.
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