I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize