I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just high enough for therapy.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
