why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
